The Journey

River Ford Campground: Clackamas River

N: 45.03250 / W: 122.05842

Elevation: 1600

          Finally, the journey that began over three months ago is finally under way.  I have spent the last three months in preparation for that which I am indulging in, solitude and connecting to Mother Nature.

          I found this spot along the Clackamas River two days ago after an odd escape from Seattle that started on Monday…or did it really start three months ago?

          The idea to quit my 40K job and drive off into the wilderness of the Arizona desert did not come as a whim, per say, but it was finally put into motion when I submitted my notice to the landlords at my wonderful home in north Seattle and to my employer of eight and a half years. 

          I had a two day moving sale in the pouring down rain at the end of June, took the remainder of the sale to Goodwill and then packed my remaining possessions into two piles: one going with me and the other that would be kept in my friend’s garage.

          With the gracious help of two of my dear friends, we cleaned up the house and I received my deposit refund on the spot, so I became the grateful mover taking my friends out to lunch where it was determined with a list in hand, the many chores that need accomplishing before I could really leave the state of Washington.

          I own a 1985 VW van with a camper package and started the list of things to do.  I needed bearings, so I had them replaced, only to have to have them re-replaced by the same shop a month later.  I had an alignment, tires rotated, a cracked windshield replaced, the stove and refrigerator fixed and working on both propane and battery, but I since I have no electrical in the camper system so it also behooved me to remove the stinky water tank that no longer was functional, leaving me a huge storage space next to the couch/bed. 

          I replaced the air filter, oil filter, fuel filter, and had the van timed, tuned up, as well as differential service, transmission service and the one that still plagues me, the heater panel repaired and the heat turned off; supposedly.

          The two main vents into the cabin of the van along the floor will not close shut as they seem to be spring loaded and both mechanics who looked at it said that it needs to be replaced yet Volkswagen doesn’t make the part anymore, I needed to check junk yards along my journeys and replace it.  I had one of my friends foil tape it a shut as best as they could, yet no one can explain to me why such hot heat comes out of the vents in the first place.  This has been a major concern for me, as I am going to Arizona, hello…heat through my vents and it is still summer time? 

          Frustrated at spending over $450 in mechanics who cannot fix the problem (although this includes other work they also did) I will continue trying to resolve this issue, yet in the meantime, there have been three days this week alone that have been above ninety degrees and the cabin of my van well over one hundred and ten on one of those days.

          I fixed the drain holes in the van with wire and expanding foam to seal out spaces where vermin might want to crawl into.  I screened off windows and replaced the old smelly rug, rehung curtains and began organizing the interior of the van that is now my home.

          Being the organizer and decorator that I am, I spent many times packing and repacking certain items and putting things into new places.  Some things found homes immediately and others took a while as I continued to buy things that might help with the organizing part of living in a small space. When all was said and done, I thought I had packed very well.

          In the meantime I must mention that Mercury went into retrograde and somewhere along the lines, I became distracted as an old friend called up saying he needed a cat sitter just when I needed a place to group my belongings in preparation for my journey.

          He left for New York and I was left to work on my van and the various duties of quitting a job and cashing out a 401K, setting up that bills be paid off in advanced so that my bank account would have minimal activity. 

          Then there was the people aspect of all of it.  I had co-workers who actually were upset with me because I was leaving; while others were thrilled I was following my dream and not caving into the corporate world any longer. Friends who have tried to understand my journey and have proved to me their support and love through all of the long delayed preparations it has taken for me to get where I am at.

          I had a hard time with the Mom part of all of it.  She has been the rock and foundation of my life since birth, giving me all she could, when she could, and supporting me throughout the years when most would have given up on me, my Mom has been fantastic.  Yet, I did not tell her I was doing my journey until I had moved out of my home and had worked my last day of my job, out of fear of rejecting the idea I wanted verses her idea of what I should do.

          As it turns out she took the news well and she even stayed healthy throughout the entire time I have been getting ready to go.  She has continued to be supportive and loving in ways that help me take my first real independent steps, ever.  I cried when I hugged her on Monday morning, begging and asking her to stay healthy and happy until I returned in December for her birthday.  I drove away from her home with tears rolling down my cheeks as I pray that her frail health holds on until she turns seventy-nine on 12/12/12.

          Monday was a very busy day as I showered in a familiar shower, ate breakfast with my Mom and then went south to my friend of over thirty-seven years where I stored the last of my things out of my van and hugged my dear ‘sister’ goodbye until our December hug, (singing Christmas songs in August) and shed more tears at leaving my loved ones behind.

          I continued south where I hooked up with another longtime friend, for a beer and a bite at an odd little establishment on Steamboat Island, WA called Characters.  My friend of twenty plus years reminded me in the parking lot as I was about to leave, that a few years back at a festival I had told him I was going to pack it all up and leave it all behind and just travel around and write.  I vaguely remember saying it, but as the days have passed since then, the words sound familiar, yet they had a different meaning for me back then.

          I left Steamboat Island and drove to Shelton, WA where I stayed the night at a mutual vending friends’ home on Leprechaun Lake.   I gave her many of my garden delights that fit into her garden easily seeing as she was the inspiration for my huge deck at my wonderful home I had left only six week previous.

          The following morning I drove west to the coast and went to Long Beach, WA where I spent one night in Cape Disappointment State Park and the following morning tried to find the ocean beneath tons of fog.  In my haste I almost left the small town of childhood memories and finally had to remind myself to stop and see the sights for what they were…I had no time frame and I was in no hurry to go anywhere.

          I pulled up to the free museum and took a handful of quarters, nickels and dimes, along with a couple of really shiny pennies and just went wild inside.  They have all these old time machines that do everything from telling you a fortune to racing horses around a metal track.  You can watch movies that you turn the handle and the picture cards form a show, all for a nickel.  I had my love meter read for a quarter and found out I’m not so hot anymore.  A pirate read me a fortune and it said I would find riches…not of wealth but of worldly knowledge.  I saw a half alligator half man mummy named Jake and a two headed stuffed cow.  I bought stick candy and a small basket and went back outside of the shop and took pictures of the world’s longest chopsticks and the largest cast iron frying pan.

          I then drove to the beach and the walked the wooden boardwalk as the sun had burned away all of the fog.  I went out to the water and squeal like a child as the surf wetted down the cuff of my capris.  I took pictures of a grey whale skeleton that had washed up on shore and was now being preserved for the tourist. 

          So much I would have missed had I just drove away from the small ocean community had I not decided to slow down somewhat and see what happened. 

          I plotted my journey to include going to Saddle Mountain in Oregon so I put myself on the right road and left going out through Astoria onto Highway 202 which quickly put me onto a wooded road that twisted its way along side of a small river until it went up into the mountains where somewhere along the way I realized I did not get enough gas to be wandering through the forest.

          Following the road to a junction I saw someone and asked them where the nearest gas station was and was told nine miles up another road.  I turned around and aimed for the nine miles destination only to come upon the main Highway 26 that took me back towards the ocean. 

          I found a gas station with gas jacked up far too high at $4.29 a gallon (average price currently is $3.89) and put forty dollars into the tank and then drove twenty miles up, near the top of Saddle Mountain.  The campsites there were for tent camping only and the hike up to the top of the mountain was over three miles adding in the temperature was above 90 degrees and the late time, I decided to move onward in my journey.       

          I went back down the mountain to Highway 26 and quickly turned south onto Highway 53 which dropped me back onto Highway 101 south where I then went down the coast until I found a great campground where the girl behind the counter found me the most perfect spot to camp in. 

          I asked for secluded and shaded and I received both not far from the bathrooms and the beach.  I stretched out and truly relaxed for the first time in two full days, taking a walk along the beach and making a small fire in the pit.  I took a shower before bedtime and felt cleaned and refreshed, as if my journey had really begun. 

          So long I had planned, organized, planned some more and executed the steps needed to get where I was, sitting in campground with strangers, listening to the ocean roar in the distance and the smell of green wood encroaching upon my nostrils.  I went to bed shortly after the first star appeared.

          The next morning I drove directly east, believing I would stop at a major store and restock my supplies but by the time I was stuck in traffic in the ninety degree day with the cabin of the van going up to 110 for most of the day, I passed up two Fred Meyers thinking there would be a third.  How wrong I was.

          Before I could turn around and think about it, I was in a small town called Estacada and their idea of a store is this side of a large 7-11 so I bought two subs at Subway and drove onward into the woods where I went through about five campgrounds where all of the camp sights had been reserved.  I finally pulled into this one called River Ford where none of the sights were reserved there.  I pulled up to space eight and that is where I am typing from now. 

          I can see and hear the river but must walk down to it, to enjoy it cold depths.  I cleansed my crystal in it yesterday and spent most of the day staring at it in complete and utter relaxation.  I have taken two naps in as many days and finally feel like I am starting to unwind from the hectic world I left behind.

          I leave in the morning to go back towards the west until I find a Fred Meyer as I will be restocking up on all of the things I forget to get along the way.  I will not wander further until I am sure I am self-sufficient in the supplies I carry.  After all, with any good sense, I never would have bought two sandwiches and hoped they held me over for three days. 

          In too much of a hurry to get to where I am going and yet it is the journey I am wishing to experience, not the worry of whether or not I will find a place to rest.  As long as I have my van, I will have a place to rest.

          I need to slow down and take a breath, to take a moment, to take a lifetime, to get to where I am going.

          ~peace~